Ok so here’s a few conspiracies on why I moved:
(1) The old place was about to be demolished and so I had to move.
(2) Rent was too high
(3) We have been taken over by Finicky Feline Inc. (that’s the current working theory)
(4) I have been kidnapped (quick get help)
(5) FF has used her womanly charms and made me give up my independence
(6) Moving locations will increase our customer traffic flow
(7) Our old site had several health code violations
(8) We needed the better location to smuggle drugs
(9) Cohabitation is your friend
(10) I moved because I can!